The Twisted Head

And, no, I'm not talking about the name of a pub in Scotland or perhaps Bill Clinton's supposed physical problem... Now Hairball, behave yourself. I'm talking about MY neck. Some of you who follow me on Face Book know that I've been diagnosed with torticollis. I have Laterocollis. Read more...


Back in Dec. of 2009, I started to notice that when I read, my head would want to slide to the right. I just guessed it was holiday stress or I slept wrong, whatever. It would come and go. Then in Jan., I started to notice that I couldn't keep my head "righted". The chin would gravitate toward the right shoulder and as the left shoulder contracted, my left ear would meet my shoulder. I smelled trouble. Really? Duh. One morning I got up and was walking through the house and my husband asked me why I was walking like Quasimodo. Don't you just love loving, caring spouses? So I did what every woman does when she has a problem. I asked my girfriends. Well, I did get some good advice. The first friend said I should go to her very goodlooking and young chiropractor. If he can't fix you at least he's good to look at. Another said you've got to go to the accupuncturist who cured me of shingles. Dr. Kim. A socks and sandels guy. Another recommended a physical therapist and finally one said it's got to be neurological. Well, I did it all. The chiropractor, who indeed is young and indeed is goodlooking, diagnosed me with torticollis (I guess my left shoulder being 5 inches higher than my right was a sign) and said I'd feel some relief after 6 treatments. Having never been to a chiropractor, I was a little taken aback (pardon the pun) by all of the popping and cracking. I also began seeing the physical therapist. Lots of stretching and exercises to strengthen the other shoulder to compensate for the contractions of the left shoulder. It's was his idea to go see a neurologist. And finally the accupuncturist. I went twice. I had also never been to one and found the experience interesting. Since the pain and shoulder contractions were on the left, be put needles on the right side of my right foot and the right side of my right hand. I'd rest that way for 30 minutes. So sorry. No luck. That's when I get the recommendation of a neurologist. He looks at me for about 5 minutes, we talk Obamacare for 15 and he diagnoses me with, what else, torticollis. He put me on some muscles relaxers that have done no good. The next step? Botox injections to paralyze the muscle. I'm waiting for an appointment. Maybe he'll have a little left over for a little wrinkle work. The only good thing about this and there is only one..I look very professional while addressing the golf ball because my head is behind the ball. Try putting with your neck twisted as above. Makes reading breaking putts quite interesting...And to the good credit of the chiropractor, he eventually said he could not help me. An honest man...