Desperate Housewives, Big Love and President Obama: Borneo Part Two

So, with my wodka, all was right with the world again. As I stated in my May 31st blog, most of our time was spent doing water safaris.

But on two occasions we went trekking looking for a group doing research for Hutan, an orang-utan conservation project. They have a study area and watch the orang-utans throughtout the day. These folks have got to be dedicated to hang out all day writing down mother turned left, ate leaf, baby clung to mama, mama turned right etc etc... Why? Simple answer. The better they understand their behavior, the better they can help them survive. They provide much needed info to the government of Malaysia, who can then implement programs to help the big apes survive. Alright. On with the story. Read more...

Borneo Adventure

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It's been a while since I last posted but my sister and I were on an adventure. We were on an ecotour on the island of Borneo. For the uninitiated, Borneo is the 3rd largest island in the world and is made up of 3 nations, Indonesia, Malaysia and Brunei. Borneo, for me, conjured up visions of head hunters and pythons ready to have me for dinner. Well, not so. Indonesia has the world's largest population of Muslims. Betcha didn't know that... Why did we chose a trip to Borneo? Well, my sister does contract work for the Houston Zoo and the Zoo is a major benefactor with the Malaysian government in working to save three threatened species, the Pygmy Elephant, the Orangu-tan, and the Proboscis monkey. Even though my sister has traveled extensively , it was the type of trip she had never experienced before (I had been on two African safaris) and we said "what the hell. Why not". Luckily for us, we saw all three species thanks to Red Ape Encounters. Our guide, Mincho, 29 and a father of three, was superb and his english was terrific. I'll get to the "why" his english is so good later. Here are just some musings, factoids and experiences: Read more...

Oxymorons and Other Things to Ponder

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?  Read more...

Beatrice and Virgil by Yann Martel: A Review

Life of Pi, Yann Martel’s 2002 Man Booker prize winner, is one of my all time favorite novels. I remember that I asked my book club to read it because I was so enthralled with it. Half of them hated it and the other half, like me, loved it. There seems to be the same split for Martel’s newest novel or novella (it’s a mere 197 pages), Beatrice and Virgil. Let me digress a minute. One of the local high schools had Life of Pi on their summer reading list. A friend of mine, whose son attends this HS, asked me if I could help him understand the novel. The first thing I said to him is that in order to understand Pi you have to suspend your disbelief in what is happening in order for you to believe in what is happening. Huh?   Read more...

Twisted Head Saga Part Three

Now I don't want you to think I'm whining. But, seriously, I am. This stupid spasmodic torticollis is really pissing me off. First of all, the Botox was supposed to be a miracle. Not. I think I told you it can take 2-3 weeks for those little toxins to reach the little brain cells (yes, I'm sure blond jokes will abound) that are telling my muscles to contract. So, I called the doc after just 9 days and said, "PLEASE HELP ME!". So, they "worked me in". 2 hours later I had another set of 15 shots of Botox in the neck muscles. You guys out there listen up. The neurologist said that it is clear to him that women can tolerate pain more then men. So there! Anyway, at night, in particular, my neck really spasms so I bought a cervical collar. Now what is pissing me off is that three things that I truly enjoy are being hampered by this malady. Golf. I lost a match the other day that I never should have lost. Ever try to read a breaking putt with your left should raised 5 inches higher than the other. I was missing 4 foot putts! Drat! Then, I can't cook the way I like. I have this great Shun Ken Onion Chef's Knife that my hubby gave me a few years ago. Sharp sharp sharp. Try chopping with your head bouncing around like a bobble doll. Dan Akroyd as Julia Child on SNL anyone? And finally reading and writing. Good thing this program has spell check because every other word is like thid . Hid yoi lije thia. And not being able to read, well, I have yet to find a comfortable position. The cervical collar helps. Maybe I should just download some to my ipod. So, here I sit, cervical collar on, typing you a note to let you know that that GD! Botox better work. Oh, and the doc says, this malady doesn't go away. Learn to live with it. I shall because we all know what the alternative is....

The Fairy Tale All Little Girls Should Read

This is the fairy tale that should have been read to us when we were little...

Once upon a time...in a land far away...a beautiful, independent self assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.

The frog hopped into the princess’ lap and said, “elegant lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you however, and I will turn back into the dapper young prince that I am and then my sweet...we can marry and set up housekeeping in your castle...with my mother...where you will prepare my meals...clean my clothes...bear my children and forever feel grateful and happy doing so”.

That night...as the princess dined sumptuously on lightly sautéed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled...and thought to herself:

I don’t f**king think so...

Sibling Rivalry: Three Sisters and Their Story...

In a couple of weeks from now my OLDER sister and I are embarking on our first major trip together. I guess you could say it's not our first journey together because just by virtue of being sisters, we've been on a life long trip. We also have a younger sister who is 6 years younger than me. My older sister and I don't really know a whole lot about her because when she was 8 or 9, we were 14 and 16 and could have cared less about her other than for her to stay out of our way. My older sister, I'll call "G". She is 16 months older than me. Our relationship, from the time we were born until our thirties, was a tumultuous one. Read more...

The Twisted Head Saga Continues

The last time I blogged about my torticollis I was awaiting an appointment for some Botox injections...which was to cure all ills. Oh, if life were so simple. If one could snap one's fingers and what you wanted appeared. Well, there has been no genie in a bottle for moi. There has been only disappointment and misinformation. My poison pen is directed at the mail order pharmacy Medco who has a contract with United Health Care to fulfill the prescriptions of UHC's insured. The crux of the biscuit, a favorite coinage by Frank Zappa, is that I should have shucked out the $1100 for the two vials and dealt with reimbursement later. But both the doctor's office as well as the insurance company ASSURED me that the Botox would be in the doc's office in a matter of days. Read more...

Come to Jamaica Pretty Lady

Let me tell you a story about a trip I took a few years back to the beautiful island of Jamaica.  When I was in the cruise business, I often had clients ask which of the islands in the Caribbean are the most beautiful. Well, for me, they are the islands formed by volcanoes that created beautiful seasides but gorgeous mountains such as  St. Lucia, Martinique, and,yes, Jamaica.  They are mountainous, have beautiful rivers and, for the most part, lush greenery. In other words, they're more than a few feet above sea level. I had been to Jamaica many times with my then, and soon to be ex, husband so this was my first trip solo (newly d-i-v-o-r-c-ed). Read more...

The Twisted Head

And, no, I'm not talking about the name of a pub in Scotland or perhaps Bill Clinton's supposed physical problem... Now Hairball, behave yourself. I'm talking about MY neck. Some of you who follow me on Face Book know that I've been diagnosed with torticollis. I have Laterocollis. Read more...

What's On My Kindle

As I blogged before, it took me awhile to buy an e-reader but I did.  More for travel than anything else.  But I've become addicted to downloading books, which were once $9.99.  Now, thanks to Apple and IPad, the download prices are closer to $15.  Thanks a bunch Apple.  Anyway, my community newsletter has asked me to write a monthly book review and my first two reviews were The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo by Larsson and That Old Cape Magic by Russo.  I really do love to read and since the weather here in the southeast has not been conducive to golfing or gardening, I read and oh yes, blog.  So, here's a partial list of what's on my Kindle.  Before the list, here is an interesting tidbit about the Kindle.  Many of the classics are FREE to download or at a greatly reduced rate, like a dollar.  The other thing I've found out about Kindle and publishing is that not all authors/publishing houses have negotiated an e-book deal so you can't get them on an ebook, like John Grisham9pdate 1/14, now you can), or they wait for three months to publish to Kindle, like Stephen King. Read more...

Tires and Sex

NOT sex with tires but tires and sex.  Ok then. What in the world are you talking about Hairball?  Let me tell you a little story that will clarify, anger, and amuse.  Back in the mid-80's I took a great trip to Tokyo, Hong Kong and Bangkok.  This little story takes place in Bangkok.   Thailand is a fascinating and beautiful country.  Buddist temples on street corners with some of the most beautiful women in the world, thousands and thousands of orchids and phenomenal hotels and incredible cuisine.  And, sex.  Before the Vietnam war, there was very little sex trade in Thailand.  It became a favorite R and R spot for the troops and then Bangkok (an appropriate name I guess)  became known for its sex trade. Read more...

Asthma and Claustrophobia

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Serious up.  I'm asthmatic and have claustrophobia.  Does being asthmatic necessarily mean you're going to be claustrophobic?  Maybe.  I read about this in Prevention magazine.  It seems that recent studies show that there is a striking connection between asthma and psychological problems, i.e. depression and anxiety.  If you've ever been in a situation where you have not been able to breath, it's not hard then for the mind to extrapolate,  "small place, no air."

The Olympics and Condoms-Strange Bedfellows

Did that title get your attention?  I was telling some friends of mine about this the other day.  I had read about this concerning another Olympics.   Their response was "you've got to be kidding".  Nope.  Would Hairball lie to you honey?   The practice of handing out free condoms began in 1992 in Barcelona.  Condom use within the Vancouver Olympic village is rampant.  This year some 100,000 free condoms were given to some 7000 athletes and officials of the games.  That's some 14 condoms PER person.  Back up...they gave them to the officials too?  This makes Tiger Woods and his trysts pale in comparison.  What do they have there?  A condom depot? Read more...

Totally Worthless Info to Impress Your Friends

A friend recently suggested I pick up a copy of a book entitled Who Knew.  Well, I obviously didn't know or I would have already read it. By the by, if I can't get a book on Kindle through Amazon, I buy them used.  My sister would say "go to the library".  But I bought this book for $3 and change including shipping.  So, there ya go.  The sub-title of the book is:  Things You Didn't Know About Things You Know Well by David Hoffman .

So, did you know:

If Jell-O is hooked up to an EEG, it registers movements virtually identical to the brain waves of a healthy adult.  After a martini or before?

On average, a Twinkie will explode in a microwave in 45 seconds.  Ok, tell me the truth.  How many of you tried this?

There are approximately 1,750 O's in every can of SpaghettiOs.  Job descriptiton:  The job entails counting food elements but not eating them...

Coca Cola was first marketed as "the best cure for a hangover".  A true Texas cure for a hangover:  A Big Red float with vanilla BlueBell Ice Cream.

The five  interlocking Olympic rings are black, blue, red, white, and yellow because at least one of these colors appears on every national flag.  Hurray for our Olympic team in Vancouver.  The most medals since Lake Placid.  Hmm, do we have to apologize for that? I just had to say it...

Banks are commonly shaped like pigs because in the eighteenth century frugal people saved their money in earthenware jars made of dense orange clay known as pygg.   Today banks are viewed as pigs...

In Pulp Fiction, the word f**k is used 257 times.  Just a typical day on the golf course folks...

For you dog lovers out there that do not pick up your pooch's poop:  Each instance of dog poop that goes unscooped attracts approx. 144 flies! Oh Oh yuck!

Seinfeld wasn't Jerry Seinfeld's first sitcom.  He played the govenor's speechwriter on Benson, but was fired after three episodes.   Why didn't he just show up the next day and pretend that he hadn't been fired? 

On average, we forget 80% of what we learn on any given day.  Is that before or after menapause?

What if You Had Two Cows: Political Science for Dummies

This is floating around the internet and I found it funny:

DEMOCRATIC
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.

REPUBLICAN
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?

SOCIALIST
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow. Read more...

A Small But Growing Culture Within the NBA

Hairball, you mean other than tats, and guns, and women?  I'm not an NBA fan.  I can't even remember  the last time I went to an NBA game.  I think, maybe,  it was in Dallas in 1990.  So, if you're not an NBA fan, why are you writing about it?  It's because whenever I see an article about something "different", I read it.  And this article in today's WSJ really caught my eye.  It seems that over the last decade the NBA has recruited more and more players from outside of the good old U S of A. (Hairball, you really don't watch the sport if that's news to you.)  Stop being a wisenheimer and let me finish.  For those of you who DON"T know this, the number of players born outside of the US has doubled over the last decade (up to 83).  This year, 5 of the top 15 highest paid players are from outside the US.  Ok, OK.  You've made your point.  Move on.  The locker room atmosphere is changing.  While the American players listen to their iPods, iPhones to their ears, looking at laptops, the foreign born players are....drum roll please...READING!  WHAT?!  READING?! In the NBA?!        Listen up.  If you take into account the countries they come from Russia,  the Ukraine, Lithuania, Nigeria etc and couple this with their economic status, they could not  afford nor did they have access to ipods, iphones, laptops etc.  Instead, they read.  Their coaches insisted that they read.  So, it has carried forward.  New Orleans Hornets player, Emeka Okafor, just finished The Road, Interpreter of Maladies, and The Brief Wonderous Life of Oscar Wao.  Trust me.  These are not light weight books.  Apparently some of this is nibbling at the edges of the NBA culture.  The Bucks gave all of their players Kindles for Christmas.  But don't get the idea that this all hunky dory with the other players.  (Do you think any of the players in the NBA would say hunky dory? I'm not going to write what I believe they would actually say.)  They do make fun of "the readers".  So, now you know why I read the article.  Pairing reading with the NBA was such an oxymoron that to me it was like putting Obama and Cheney in a room and asking  them to come up with a plan.  Any plan.... Here's the link for the whole article:  http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704140104575057521488502914.html   

5 Rules That Men Can Live By

To counterbalance the seriousness of my last blog:

Good advice from a friend. See below.
Five rules for men to follow for a happy life.

1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.

2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.


3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.

4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.

5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other.

Sincerely,

Tiger Woods

A Simple Explanation of What Happened with Brown/Coakley

My blog has moved to www.satisfyingmycuriosity.com.  If you've enjoyed this blog, please check my new site out for other interesting comments on culture, travel, book reviews, and music.


"It is to me a new and consolatory proof that wherever the people are well informed they can be trusted with their own government; that whenever things get so far wrong as to attract their notice, they may be relied on to set them right." Thomas Jefferson Jan. 8, 1789

"The people" really began to pay attention when the Senate Nebraska and Louisiana deals were cut and the unions given a special deal with health care taxes. And with everybody in congress hiding behind closed doors working on a deal, no wonder the American people became suspicious. This is why it is so imperative for "the people" to stay informed and vote with knowledge and not emotion.



One last thing. Don't bash pickem up trucks and those that drive them. We, "the people", coughed up good money to help those manufacturers survive. The democrat elite made it sound like only hay seed chewing, ignorant yahoos drive pick up trucks. Try to explain that to my MBA educated Fortune 500 retired executive friends who proudly drive their Ford 150's back and forth to Hilton Head or Florida to their 3rd or 4th homes...

If You Come to a Fork in the Road, Take It.

It's hard to top Yogi Berra when it comes to mixed metaphors. Another fun one is, "a nickle ain't worth a dime no more." Tell me about it Yogi.  Yogi did get me to thinking. I want to write about the proverbial "fork in the road".  Over the holidays we decided to take all of our old home videos and put them on Dvd's. I drove over to the little store that had done this for me in the past...closed. I drove to buy a little gift for a sick friend..the gift store...closed. Closed closed closed. These poor folks have, like Yogi suggested, come to a fork in the road and they had to take it. One direction...close. The other direction...close. This led me to ask my husband and my daughter about our "forks in the road." My daughter hasn't quite had to make those kinds of decisions, yet. But my husband and I surely have. We're talking major decisions that have a dramatic impact on your life. There's a line in one of the songs in the new movie Crazy Heart with Jeff Bridges (I will admit right now that I love Jeff Bridges) in which the main character sings something like this, I took a bad turn in the road and then every turn was bad bad bad. Read more...